CAN GHOSTS ACTUALLY KILL?

"I ain't afraid of no GHOST." Well... Maybe you should be.

What you don’t know can’t hurt you. False! People are hurt every day by the unknown. In fact, people are often hurt by the very anticipation of the unknown.

If we were to calculate all of the deaths from heart failure due to panic, random explosions, asphyxiation caused by chicken wings, falling into massive holes or cracking your skull open while performing ordinary tasks like bathing or talking on the phone, we can clearly see that 99.9% of all deaths had not been foreseen. Death is like being on the butt end of a joke, so becoming a ghost guarantees a few decades of stewing in resentment and plotting revenge.

Ghosting is FOMO 24/7. Ghosts want in on the action. They don’t want to help you find a parking spot or tell you your soulmate’s name through a Ouija board. They want back into the party with the rest of the breathers.

They need a body. You have a body. They will take it from you. 

Proof: What’s another name for alcohol? Spirits. Why? It’s a warning, because if you drink enough of it, you’ll blackout and wake up the next day with all your friends angry with you because of all of the terrible things you said and did. You won’t remember a thing, because you weren’t in your body at all. A ghost was.

Some ghosts get really good at telekinesis, being able to manipulate household objects. A knife is an object. Boom, it just landed in your chest. Science.

Ghosts can also send you mental images, like a snapchat you just can’t look away from. But it doesn’t disappear, the story keeps getting replayed and replayed until you think you’re crazy and end up on heavy medication. Ghosts know if they spout off some crazy talk while they’re in your body, you’ll get more medication and they get more time up in your flesh. Mental institutions are like a spa for The Other Side.

We can all relate to wanting what we can't have. Most of us are sipping our coffees at work right now, contemplating suicide, while the ghosts around us are praying to find a wall they won't slip through. No one has it easy.

And I know what you're thinking, not all ghosts are bad. And sure, some are perfectly harmless. But whether the ghost is trying to solve a murder or watch some hot dude in the shower, their presence is a glitch in the system. They have chosen not to go to the light. They are stuck in the illusion of separation. Ghosts believe Wheelchair Jimmy was right about YOLO, but hell no. WALA. WALA is the truth.

So don't mess around with ghosts. Burn some sage and tell them to meet their maker.

* FOMO - Fear of Missing Out

* YOLO - You Only Live Once

* WALA - We All Live Again

VOTE FOR US on STORYHIVE

If you like the themes explored here, you're going to love CODEPENDENT GHOST GIRL, a new web series in development for Telus Optik's STORYHIVE. VOTE for us from April 18-25 and you can help the series move forward! VOTE: Click here to see more!.